6 Tips for Dealing with Toxic Parents, So You Won’t Be Branded Disobedient
Muslimcreed – Toxic parents may often make you feel uncomfortable and stressed. Moreover, we live in the Asian region where the tagline “asian parents can’t relate”.
This sentence shows that the parenting style of Asian parents is quite different from the others. They are still influenced by customs and perhaps a strong religious factor.
It’s not bad, but if it’s done too demanding and has to match the expectations of the parents, then it’s impossible for toxic parents to arise in parenting.
This is because people often think that parents are always right because they have outlived their children.
Even though every child has the right to be born into the world. Not a few were raised by destructive and abusive parents.
The danger of this parenting pattern is that it can poison children’s psychology. These are called toxic parents or toxic parents.
Wounds caused by an unhealthy environment from toxic parents can carry over into adulthood.
It turns out that not only in romantic relationships can occur toxic. But in the scope of parenting can also happen.
The visible characteristics of toxic parents, for example, are difficult to discuss and refuse to compromise, being overprotective, often blaming and sometimes being sarcastic. However, the levels are different for each parent.
You are certainly confused and dizzy in the face of these toxic parents. For that you need to know how to deal with toxic parents so that no trauma occurs in you later.
Because these wounds can subconsciously apply to your child’s upbringing later. Here are tips on how to deal with toxic parents.
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1. Setting Space For Yourself
everyone has a need to be alone. Can also be called me time.
If you fall into the category of being raised by toxic parents, you can work around this by making a space for yourself without anyone being allowed in, including your parents.
This has to do with how to recharge one’s energy to release negative energy and be ready to face the day. Especially if you are faced with a situation that requires you to fully concentrate.
For example, an important exam or a presentation of work to an important client. You can “get away” temporarily from your toxic environment to complete the needs of those important moments.
Otherwise you will find it difficult to be able to give yourself a refresher for your mental health. Of course you know that going to a psychologist requires a lot of money.
2. Looking for Emotional Expression Media (Catharsis)
In an environment with toxic parents, of course, there are times when you are overwhelmed by their attitude. Everyone’s tolerance threshold is different.
If you feel like you’ve reached your peak and often feel like you can’t tolerate it, you can look for emotional outlets.
This is called catharsis. Catharsis is the release of emotions to release a feeling of tension. For example, by doing hobbies or things you like. Of course it’s positive.
You can choose to do hobbies such as exercising, reading books, painting, drawing, listening to music or just taking a leisurely walk.
Can also be alone to sleep. That way, if you’ve found the right catharsis, you don’t have to wait until your threshold is at its peak.
3. Understand Your Desire
Being in an unhealthy environment continuously is not good for your mental health. For that you can try to find a way out of this condition.
It’s best if you really understand what you want in the future.
The older you get, the more you will have the right to express your opinion even to toxic parents.
You can convey what you want, what is on your mind well with the right choice of sentences.
Because parents also need to know that their children have the right to live with their choices.
4. Discuss together well
To be able to express your wishes to toxic parents in point 3, you must understand that you can convey it through a good discussion with them.
Having a good relationship with toxic parents is not easy. One little you can be considered disrespecting them.
But there is no harm in trying to have a good discussion with parents. Also understand the condition of parents that causes them to behave in this way.
Are there problems that are being faced so that they make you an outlet for their problems.
If you want your parents to understand you, you have to understand them first. Because if you understand each other, it will be easier to discuss anything with your parents.
5. Make Agreements and Limits
As a child, of course you still have to respect your parents even though they are toxic. Because parents still have the right to pray and know what you are doing.
You still need parental approval when you want to be accepted into a job, for example.
This also applies when you face failure. Toxic parents will tend to blame you and assume you disobeyed because you failed.
Instead of fighting each other and getting angry, you better give an understanding to your parents that it is a choice that you yourself are ready with all the results.
If you fail, you are ready to accept and respond like what to the failure. Regardless of your choice, you still need input from the right parents.
Not a strict rule entry. So parents will also definitely think that they are still valued by their children despite living their own life choices.
At first it may be difficult to give parents limits on children’s problems, but gradually they will understand this.
Parents’ intentions are sometimes good, but often these intentions have a bad impact on children.
This is known as positivity.
6. Contact the Expert
If you feel you can no longer do the 5 steps above, then you need the help of an expert, namely a psychologist. You can pour all your head and heart to a psychologist.
They will help us overcome this problem from the root slowly and process.
Because everything requires a process, and each individual has a different solution and process. It can be fast and it can also be slow for the session to be done.
But keep in mind that psychologists only help you “cross the bridge” of your life with all its necessities. For the decision, psychologists only help you to choose the most appropriate decision for yourself.
Even though they are toxic, they are still our parents who brought us into the world. For that we should maintain a good relationship with our parents. Indeed, we have to be smart at managing our distance from toxic parents if we can’t manipulate the situation properly.
Indeed, we ourselves have to rack our brains so as not to be affected mentally in order to stay healthy and happy.
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